Match-Maker, Match-Maker, make me a match

Posted by Victor under Reflections
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In the old days, this could well be a refrain from many girls. And many Bibiks (the typical Nyonya Aunties) would be busy checking out the neighbourhood for young flowers waiting to bloom. “Ah, I know of this young man, handsome, hardworking, I think he would be good for your daughter,” as the self-appointed matchmaker could be talking with her friend or neighbour while sipping kopi-o or playing su-sic (the typical card games). And that matchmaker could well be running across to the other friend to tell her about this young and pretty lady, can cook, very obedient and would certainly make good wife and daughter-in-law.

Match making in modern days, image from English.Jschina.com.cn

The excited potential in-laws could be working with their matchmaker friend to check out their potential son/daughter-in-law. It was said that the potential mother-in-law of the girl could well be sizing up the buttocks of the girl to see if she could bring her her next generation, carrying down the family name. The other potential mother-in-law could be checking if her daughter would have a comfortable life. Ah, the dangers of marrying off the daughter. And there’s the consideration of returns for some.

When the two in-laws agreed that the match is possible, they would go back and tell their respective child. A date would be set for the first “look-see look-see”. The relatives and the kids would be excited because this would be an outing of a different kind. The Great World, Happy World and probably the New World would be a great place for such gathering.

I had the good fortune of attending one when I was probably less then ten. A su-sic kaki recommended this girl, originally from a village in Johor to my grandma. My uncle had little education but was hardworking. In those days, it was perceived that one working at the docks (Harbour Board) would bring in enough food for the family. And so, on this breezy evening, we were dressed in our best and made our way to the Happy World at Geylang. It was a long table outside a drink stall, just outside the indoor stadium (I remember my first “Holiday on Ice” show here, and probably my last). Both parties came with many people. We all sat from both side of the long table, filling up to meet one long table. The prospective ones were seated on extreme ends. Luckily, in those days, the eyesights of these people must have been better.

After a full fifthteen minutes or so, of chitchatting with their friends, probably coyingly stealing looks at the opposite party, it was time for them to get to know each other better. Then, they went for a walk together, minus us busybodies. I often wondered what were their first words. (^^) We sat, drank and chatted (probably playing police and thieves) .. a rare opportunity in those days, waiting for their return. They returned. The verdict was favourable. We left for home.

The next “pard-tho” would probably be arranged with my uncle going to the girl’s place to fetch her out. Ah, in those days, in the earlier few dates, one could expect a “lamp post”. Chances are the girl would bring a little cousin along for the date. Ah, no hanky-panky or little girl will report back. I never got to know what happened. Ah, that was some 40+ years back. My uncle has passed away and now my aunt is a grandmother.

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