Have you been to a Malay wedding before? I think for most of us non-Malays, our impression of the Malay wedding is the bustling celebration commonly held in the void decks of housing estates, where the void deck would be converted into a banquet hall. Those of us invited to a Malay wedding would be treated to a fabulous meal. On one end of the hall, the couple would be seated on an elevated throne, being the royalty of the day, where they would receive well-wishes and blessings from their guests. There would also be live music and dances.

Actually, there’s more to the Malay wedding than just the bersanding, or enthronement ceremony, which is really the height of the celebration. Three days before the bersanding, the bride would take part in a henna-staining ceremony, where the couple’s fingertips would be stained yellow by henna oil to symbolise their upcoming nuptials. The day before, the couple would have a nikah ceremony to solemnise and legalise the marriage under Islamic and civil law.

Because weddings were such community affairs, preparations for the wedding often involved not just the family but often the neighbours as well. In one wedding I attended in Malaysia, the neighbours managed to block off the lane where the bride’s house was located and convert part of the street into a banquet hall. One neighbour offered her house as the bride’s dressing room, while another neighbour turner her house into the catering kitchen to cook the food for the guests.

In Singapore, because most of us live in apartment blocks, the communal space for the bersanding is the void deck. However, there has been an increasing trend for couples to rent community halls or restaurants to hold the bersanding. ceremony. yg writes:

though most continue to use the void decks of the hdb block or the community halls as venues for the bersanding, some have moved on to community clubs, restaurants and hotels. in those kampong days, as we, the guests, were leaving, we would be presented with a red egg placed in a small cup or container and a stalk of artificial flower. the name for it is bunga telur. these days, most gifts are commercially prepared and may take the form of a miniature vase, a few pieces of chocolates, a small towel, a piece of fruit cake, miniature cutlery, rolled up handkerchief, an ornamental display set, a glass cup, a crystal plate or a cake of soap. i know a friend who made a trip to bangkok to buy these small gifts for her wedding. the more traditional malays still retain the practice of giving away boiled eggs, some with no colouring. these eggs are restricted to relatives and close friends of the families.

You can find out about Malay weddings in the Infopedia article here, or in yg’s post here.